Daily Nodes
A node is a point at which lines or pathways intersect. For me, the metaphor of connecting points develops in my daily art journaling. In this, i am recording my healing process after a major Multiple Sclerosis (MS) attack that has left me with ongoing debilitating symptoms. The daily illustrations and writings are a part of the healing process, both physically and mentally. 
“This project is supported in part by the Nevada Arts Council and the National Endowment for the Arts.”
Nevada Humanities Program Gallery, Las Vegas, NV
Citizens of that Other Space
Citizens of that Other Space 1
Nodes Day 1 (June 3) This afternoon I’ll be in the MRI tube for a while checking to see if any new lesions are around in my head and spinal cord. Created this little pen and ink in anticipation.
Nodes Day 2 (June 5) Susan Sontag, Illness as a Metaphor wrote “Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship in the kingdom of the well and the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.”
Nodes Day 3 (June 6) I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2011, after many years of unexplained symptoms like dizziness, brain fog, memory loss, spasms and tightness in limbs, trouble walking. The past three weeks I’ve experienced a set back, probably a new attack with new lesions.
Nodes Day 4 (June 7)
Nodes Day 5 (June 8)
Nodes Day 6 (June 9)
Nodes Day 7 (June 10)
Nodes Day 8 (June 11)
Nodes Day 9 (June 13) Yesterday while I was sitting next to the Neurologist, watching the MRI scans move across the computer screen like an abstract stop motion film, it struck me that they are moving like flowers under water. Last night, I think that imagery played a part in my imagination as I drew this latest node piece.
Nodes Day 10 (June 14) Tonight my husband and I watched UNREST, a movie that chronicles a young woman who developed ME (short for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). My friend who has been diagnosed with this after getting Covid suggested I watch it to learn more about the disease. It’s symptoms parallel MS and we often compare our illnesses via messaging. This node began to emerge while watching it. I did watch it twice because I found I wasn’t sketching for most of the movie.
Nodes Day 11 (June 15)
Nodes Day 12 (June 17)
Nodes Day 13 (June 19) Dedicated to all the people in our lives that make each day special. This little love node materialized after spending the day with grandkids. One, Emsley is 5 and tells her mom that she will be gentle with her “Booma” who is struggling. She keeps her word. Early in the morning she sits near and decides that she is going to just brush the wood shavings away while I’m carving. We spend an hour talking about how the wood has little holes in it and how to hold the carving tools. We also compare the new Flounder and the old Flounder and the difference between the two Scuttles. Little Mermaid revisited.
Nodes Day 14 (June 20) Sent to me via email today - From my friend who is responding to the Node Images: “Found this statement in the New Yorker: If plants are pruned correctly, then the energy go to the flowers, neurobiology has likewise revealed how the brain prunes itself as we age. Comforting to know-stay positive-Hanna”
Nodes Day 15 (June 21)
Nodes Day 16 (June 22) The Woman Problem. A while back I read “The Invisible Kingdom, Reimagining Chromic Illness” by Meghan O-Rourke. There was a part in that book that really has evoked strong reflection, making me think about my own history with doctors and the struggles my own two girls (now women) are having with the medical community. On page 109, Meghan O-Rourke writes, “…blame for various medical conditions on women’s wombs (hysteria, in Greek). Hippocratic medicine believed the womb could wander and cause disease, including a condition known as hysterical suffocation.”
Nodes Day 17 (June 23)
Nodes Day 18 (June 24)
Nodes Day 19 (June 25)
Nodes Day 20 (June 26)
Nodes Day 21 (June 27)
Nodes Day 22 (June 28)
Nodes Day 23 (June 29)
Nodes Day 24 (July 5)
Nodes Day 25 (July 6)
Nodes Day 26 (July 21)
Nodes Day 27 (July 23)
Nodes Day 28 (July 25)
Nodes Day 29 (August 7) While Elaine, Hanna and Sidne and myself were having fun in my studio today, I remembered an experience. A year ago I was in Tuscarora taking a workshop on Soda Firing. One morning, I was sketching, finding inspiration in a field of wildflowers next to Tuscarora Potter School. My soon to become friend Elaine Parks came up to me and helped me figure out what the flower was. I carved little rubber stamps representing that flower that became the texture for the wings of a special bird named “Elaine.” The flax flower will forever remind me of our friendship.
Nodes Day 30 (August 10) It has been 3 months since my MS attack. Everyone that sees me using my walker and asks me “what happened.” Very little do they know about MS and what it does. I try to talk about it as little as possible because I know they want to move on and are just being “nice.” Today we are all back on contract at TMCC. We had two meetings back to back and I really struggled. I was shaking just while sitting because I had to concentrate so much on listening to what was being presented. The crowd noise was hard to filter and I felt overwhelmed most of the time - again just sitting. What many people do not understand is how many people with MS suffer from what is called brain fog characterized by confusion, forgetfulness, and a lack of focus and mental clarity. This is due to damage to the myelin in the brain.
Nodes Day 31 (August 13) Camping in Graeagle with friends and family. Over the summer, my friend Micaela and myself read AWE: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How it Can Transform Your Life by Dacher Keltner. There are 8 wonder of life. One of those is Nature. Another is Visual Art. So, I found this moment of AWE when I was looking at the ground in the campsite and happened upon a little piece of moss stuck to a branch. It was the tiniest little visual replica of a tree. I had to draw it! Keltner wrote this and it has resonated with me through this summer’s journey “Wonder, the mental state of openness, questioning, curiosity, and embracing mystery, arises out of experiences of awe. In our studies, people who find more everyday awe show evidence of living with wonder. They are more open to new ideas. To what is unknown. To what language can’t describe. To the absurd. To seeking new knowledge.”
Nodes Day 32 (August 14)
Nodes Day 33 (August 15)
Nodes Day 34 (August 16) People are asking “How do you get these nodes done everyday?” So here it is: My Process: A little history, first-This latest MS attack has left me struggling with feeling my left side, difficulty walking, difficulty writing, difficulty thinking, difficulty talking, difficulty eating. That is a LOT to live with. I am luckier than most because I started down this journey in 2011 with an amazing Neurologist Dr. Melissa Bloch. She is someone who listens, who takes 90 minutes out of her day to fully try to understand what I’m going through. She looks at my art and “sees” and understands why I do it. She is the one that told me to keep exercising my mind and my body, just a little at time so neurons can “grow” around the damaged parts of my brain. So every night, after my afternoon nap, while we are watching “The Walking Dead” yes…that is an intense show but I’m mostly listening, I’m drawing. The next morning, I scan the drawing and then add color in Photoshop. Then I write.
Nodes Day 35 (August 17)
Nodes Day 36 (August 18) Carol Neel and Penny Pemberton, my long-time friends posted below and opened my experience to something new. This node is for them. “Candace, you might enjoy reading ‘The Heart of Matter by Pierre Theihard de Chardin. I discovered his writings in 1974 in college. He was banned from publishing his ideas in writing by the Roman Catholic Church. The Church looked on his views as heretical. To Penny and I, he is our hero and fellow companion as we walk in the forest’s, mountains and look up at the stars. He was highly educated in geology, paleontology, biology etc. He was among the paleontologists who discovered “Lucy” in China. He was a Jesuit priest and found God to reside in ALL creation. Thus, he was branded a ‘pantheist’ and his writings band during his lifetime. Posthumously, others have published his essays and books. They require slow and thoughtful reading to fully comprehend his thinking, but from what you wrote in this post, I think you’d find him to be a kindred spirit. ♥️♥️♥️”
Nodes Day 37 (August 19)
Nodes Day 38 (August 20) Today I was a little down, probably feeling the anxiety of starting to teach in person and having a lot of MS issues. Then I rmembered that there are certain people in one’s life that always uplift one’s spirit. Marti Bein is one of those people. She was there encouraging me and including me in art projects when others didn’t. At a time when other’s spoke poorly of me and my abilities, she defended me. This little sunshine bird is named after her. She is a sunflower representing happiness, truth and sincerity.
Nodes Day 39 (August 21)
Nodes Day 40 (August 22)
Nodes Day 41 (August 23) Last week, A young lady that works at TMCC parked in the ADA handicap area and when I told her she couldn’t park there she rudely told me that she has an office in TMCC and she could park there. She’s was holding her two dozen donuts and Starbucks coffee and clearly wasn’t disabled and had no disabled placard. At first I was in shock that she would even think it’s okay to break the law and then it really disturbed me that this is coming from an actual employee. It really angered me but why? It’s taken a while to process this and understand place and what happens to people who are disabled. They are relegated to exist in certain spaces. These spaces are meant to help them but none the less it’s saddening when others that have free range come into that space with a sense of entitlement and disrespect.
Nodes Day 42 (August 24)
Nodes Day 43 (August 25) Dear Oliver- Thank-you for being one of the first people who championed my art (the male nude series) at a time when the work was being censored. I am forever in your debt. You taught me to persevere and to not stop making the art I make - the personal is political. And that is powerful. You were always my advocate and I will miss our little jokes about you "eventually" coming to the studio to model for me. Oliver X and I met when he interviewed me for an Artown article in Reno Tahoe Tonight magazine in 2009. I was the Artown Artist during that summer. It is only fitting that this node have some pieces from my Artown poster. RIP Oliver. YOU became the heart of Artown and this piece is for you!
Nodes Day 44 (August 26)